I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
