This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
