I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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