Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
