would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
