I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
