you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
