I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
