Don't make out with my wife yet
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
