a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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