I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
