I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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