So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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