I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
