Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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