At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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