every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
