there was a trapeze. enough said
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
