i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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