I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
