Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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