So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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