You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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