Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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