You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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