Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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