I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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