it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
