You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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