loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
