I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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