he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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