Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
