Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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