im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
