Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
