toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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