Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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