you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
