end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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