found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
