Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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