Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
PANTIES FOUND
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