respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
