Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
