you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to sanitize my soul.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
