thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
