What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
