i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
