I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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