I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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