I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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