Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
