he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize