google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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