my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
