Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
