dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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