did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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