Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
