he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
