It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize