Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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