Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
