remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
